It's amazing that it's been two weeks since I received the phone call from Amy Yasbeck inviting me to run for Team Ritter! It seems like so much has happened since then! When I first saw on the JRF Facebook page that they had been chosen as one of the charities for the NYC marathon-- I didn't even think twice to apply. It was just a matter of sending in my application.... not a big deal, right? We were asked to write "Our Story". That wasn't as easy as I thought it would be. I struggled to write my story.
Although it's been three and a half years since Marianne's passing, and almost fifteen years since I lost my dad, having to think about what got me to this place... this place where I so badly want to run for this foundation... it brought back so many raw emotions that I had pushed away. It's hard to face those painful memories and to then to bring them front in center in black and white for people to read. I wanted to do it right... to honor them. The process was very therapeutic for me, in a way... but it was still very hard to have to dig down to put everything on paper.
Once I was selected, I made a choice to share my story with everyone. There's some vulnerability in doing that, but I knew that I only let my friends and family get in so far... It's easy to change the subject or talk about something else to protect that place close to your heart. Jock had remembered something the priest had said during Marianne's funeral. The priest talked about the things Marianne did to give back, the service to her country and community, and the friendships she had fostered. The priest said, "Marianne was a soldier... she wasn't done yet." I don't remember much of the funeral-- it was so hard and painful, but when Jock reminisced about that day and what the priest said, I knew that I needed to share my story. I knew to honor her and my dad, I had to unlock that piece of me and share a very painful part of my life in order to prevent such a terrible tragedy for someone else.
I've been blessed through this journey with the best husband ever. Jock has been incredibly supportive throughout the entire process. Right after I got off the phone with Amy, he said that the marathon is only a small piece of this experience. Is he crazy? He's run a marathon before... he knows the stuggle with it... but I am beginning to see that he's right. I didn't sign up for this to run the NYC marathon (although I'm thrilled with the opportunity!!) I did this to raise awareness for a cause so important to me. Since my initial emails, I've corresponded with Marianne's friends dating back to high school and family I have never met! I can share stories with Mackenzie about her mom on things I didn't even know. How incredible is that?
Mackenzie's doing fantastic. In fact, Pete sent a little video of her kindergarten graduation today. I am so grateful to God for my relationship with Pete. He's family, no matter what and he's doing a great job with Mackenzie. I know he feels the same with Michael and I; my mom, Jock and Tiff; Natalie, Andrew, and Colton.
Although it's been three and a half years since Marianne's passing, and almost fifteen years since I lost my dad, having to think about what got me to this place... this place where I so badly want to run for this foundation... it brought back so many raw emotions that I had pushed away. It's hard to face those painful memories and to then to bring them front in center in black and white for people to read. I wanted to do it right... to honor them. The process was very therapeutic for me, in a way... but it was still very hard to have to dig down to put everything on paper.
Once I was selected, I made a choice to share my story with everyone. There's some vulnerability in doing that, but I knew that I only let my friends and family get in so far... It's easy to change the subject or talk about something else to protect that place close to your heart. Jock had remembered something the priest had said during Marianne's funeral. The priest talked about the things Marianne did to give back, the service to her country and community, and the friendships she had fostered. The priest said, "Marianne was a soldier... she wasn't done yet." I don't remember much of the funeral-- it was so hard and painful, but when Jock reminisced about that day and what the priest said, I knew that I needed to share my story. I knew to honor her and my dad, I had to unlock that piece of me and share a very painful part of my life in order to prevent such a terrible tragedy for someone else.
I've been blessed through this journey with the best husband ever. Jock has been incredibly supportive throughout the entire process. Right after I got off the phone with Amy, he said that the marathon is only a small piece of this experience. Is he crazy? He's run a marathon before... he knows the stuggle with it... but I am beginning to see that he's right. I didn't sign up for this to run the NYC marathon (although I'm thrilled with the opportunity!!) I did this to raise awareness for a cause so important to me. Since my initial emails, I've corresponded with Marianne's friends dating back to high school and family I have never met! I can share stories with Mackenzie about her mom on things I didn't even know. How incredible is that?
Mackenzie's doing fantastic. In fact, Pete sent a little video of her kindergarten graduation today. I am so grateful to God for my relationship with Pete. He's family, no matter what and he's doing a great job with Mackenzie. I know he feels the same with Michael and I; my mom, Jock and Tiff; Natalie, Andrew, and Colton.
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