We're leaving in one week for New York. It hasn't quite hit me yet. I don't know if I'm ready. I'm not sure if it's the taper that's hitting me... or what. I don't feel as strong as I have before. I've done all my runs... but in all honesty, I'm not sure if the quality of my runs have been as good as they have been in the past. I feel like I've gotten slower... and I feel tired ALL THE TIME!!! So... I'm not sure if I'm ready. But that's not the goal. I didn't go into this to PR. So the trepidation I'm feeling needs to be set aside and the reason why I am running this needs to be put to focus.
So... FOCUS. See, the problem when I do that... my stomach starts to churn and the emotions get the better of me. I watched a video on the computer yesterday. It was a NYC marathon inspiration video. I got all choked up and was barely able to finish watching it. It take a while to get the emotions in check. FOCUS... why am I running this? Focus... Focus... FOCUS!!
I'm running this for my family... my kids, my niece, and nephew, my brother and brother-in-law; for my mother, who has lost so much, but with faith, family, and friends... risen stronger; for my cousins who will make the trek to NYC to support me; for an amazing foundation that has done so much and still have much more to do in raising awareness of aortic health and research; for all my friends that have supported me, literally, each step of the way and who has donated way beyond my wildest dreams; for my husband, who has had interrupted sleep each Saturday morning because of my training runs and despite my craziness, has been amazingly supportive of everything I wish, dream, and hope for; and lastly for my dad and my sister, Marianne... who are the reasons why I've decided to do this race and run for the John Ritter Foundation. They have taken me out of my comfort zone of hiding behind the shadows and living a quiet and comfortable life... to actively supporting a cause important to me and in doing so, getting me "out there". You see, getting "out there" is extremely difficult for me because it's uncomfortable and uneasy for me. I'm a private person for the most part and I only let my close friends and family in, and even then there's a barrier that I hold up so they don't see EVERYTHING of me. It's hard to ask for donations. It's hard to let people know your vulnerabilities and fears. It's hard that everyone out there who are supporting me, excited for me, who have donated to JRF for me... know that I'll be running next weekend. I don't want to fail. I don't want to let anyone down. I know that may sound ridiculous because if I weren't the one writing this.. and just reading it, I would think there is no way I could let anyone down, right? So I can't figure out why I feel that way. I just do. But I also know I need to get over it because in the end, no matter what, I will finish this race. So...Focus. FOCUS. My goal is to enjoy the end of this long journey and run the streets of New York with 47,000 other people for my dad and Marianne, and for all the amazing people in my life.
One more week.....
So... FOCUS. See, the problem when I do that... my stomach starts to churn and the emotions get the better of me. I watched a video on the computer yesterday. It was a NYC marathon inspiration video. I got all choked up and was barely able to finish watching it. It take a while to get the emotions in check. FOCUS... why am I running this? Focus... Focus... FOCUS!!
I'm running this for my family... my kids, my niece, and nephew, my brother and brother-in-law; for my mother, who has lost so much, but with faith, family, and friends... risen stronger; for my cousins who will make the trek to NYC to support me; for an amazing foundation that has done so much and still have much more to do in raising awareness of aortic health and research; for all my friends that have supported me, literally, each step of the way and who has donated way beyond my wildest dreams; for my husband, who has had interrupted sleep each Saturday morning because of my training runs and despite my craziness, has been amazingly supportive of everything I wish, dream, and hope for; and lastly for my dad and my sister, Marianne... who are the reasons why I've decided to do this race and run for the John Ritter Foundation. They have taken me out of my comfort zone of hiding behind the shadows and living a quiet and comfortable life... to actively supporting a cause important to me and in doing so, getting me "out there". You see, getting "out there" is extremely difficult for me because it's uncomfortable and uneasy for me. I'm a private person for the most part and I only let my close friends and family in, and even then there's a barrier that I hold up so they don't see EVERYTHING of me. It's hard to ask for donations. It's hard to let people know your vulnerabilities and fears. It's hard that everyone out there who are supporting me, excited for me, who have donated to JRF for me... know that I'll be running next weekend. I don't want to fail. I don't want to let anyone down. I know that may sound ridiculous because if I weren't the one writing this.. and just reading it, I would think there is no way I could let anyone down, right? So I can't figure out why I feel that way. I just do. But I also know I need to get over it because in the end, no matter what, I will finish this race. So...Focus. FOCUS. My goal is to enjoy the end of this long journey and run the streets of New York with 47,000 other people for my dad and Marianne, and for all the amazing people in my life.
One more week.....
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